Hot dogs
This is a video from the nathans qualifier in apple valley
I have had a week to think about the results of last weekend's hot dog qualifier in Apple Valley Mn. I won the 10 minute event by consuming 41 hot dogs and buns. It's a lot less than I'm hoping to eat at the 4th of July contest, but I now have a spot, and improving on qualifier numbers always occurs as a massive surge of pure electricity and adrenaline is channeled from the crowd at Coney. Out of all the contests this is the grand pappy of them all. And from them all it's my least favorite. They are no krystal burger, that's for sure. Numerous reasons account for this the combo of carbs and proteins can be nauseating when eating just 1; it takes pure determination and focus to break the flavor barrier as well as the necessary capacity and speed. The circus surrounding the eating makes for a memorable event that is branded into my frontal lobe. Before, and after are the fun times for me. Until I figure out how to have a breakthrough I will be going into it knowing that there is no chance I can top Joey or Kobe. I have not yet figured out how to maximize my capacity with those garlicky and greasy tube steaks. And I don't feel that any of my past performances exhibited my best eating. On every other annual contest I know what a good and bad contest feels like, never have I had that feeling upon reflection of a failure to top 50 frankfurters and buns. The dogs in Apple Valley were room temperature and which is consistent to a majority of circuit food. The ideal or elusive perfect food temperature for a contest is likely 95 degrees, it's nearly impossible to achieve. Some sponsors manage and it's always a treat to eat those foods. Normally on that subject an outdoor festival in California will sport food around blood temperature. This was not the case on that chilly Minnesotan spring day as the temperature broke around 50 degrees with a slight breeze and drizzle. It slowed the dogs speed down to a crawl as I was not eating more than 6 in any given minute while my best with decent dogs tops out at 10-12. This led to a struggle where my brain was quite vocal in forcing every ounce of strength I had into the normally easy reflex of swallowing those dogs. I can only say that they will be much faster at the finals. And I am pleased with the performance based on the minimal level of preparation as well as the circumstances. Under these pretences, it compares to eating a casing filled with left over gristle from ye old 96er but not having the luxury of knowing John Candys' sweat seasoned it. On a normal day they could be the best hot dogs. I was surprised to find a vast following of supporters, kickball all star, groupies, and creepy stalker types. It's expected in big cities and contests but is surprising considering the location, a cub foods parking lot. The mayor turned up as well as the twins closer (at an autograph table). To have him ask me questions about my sport made me realize that this could actually be considered one, (of course I have to say that because I compete in it). The media response was great following the contest. To know it was picked up nationally was a good feeling. The best feeling of all was discovering it was played on the national Mexican networks. My Latino friends remarked that I looked like I was struggling through the clip. I can only imagine how terrible I must have looked trying to eat those chilly dogs. Hopefully there was bilingual banter about the gringo loco, el diablo or pollo loco. All names I was called in Cancun while sporting the Mohawk. I am trying to get a video from the contest posted this week. If you want to check out my webpage for pictures (as I can post an unlimited amount) from a majority of contests go to; www. myspace.com/deepdishpat -chow, Eat up eat well Patrick Deep Dish Bertoletti
Going into this competition I knew that my stomach capacity and technique were in proper order. The more elements that are controlled going into a competition the better. But no matter how many elements you control the unknown is always the food. The only consistent food on the circuit has been Krystal hamburgers and Ash creek ribs. Consistent is defined as being consistently good and fast by having food at ideal temperatures and skillfully prepared. When the food is in question the totals will vary from year to year based on preparation and speed during the competition. If the food was overcooked or cold the numbers will suffer. This is not a complaint but a way of the circuit. Honestly, if I had to cook for myself and other eaters I would not be too pleased in preparing food knowing its consumption will be at breakneck speed. For most competitions normal things that tie into eating go out the window. For example, normally one eats when hungry. It's rare to be hungry going into a competition as butterflies and excitement trump all other feeling a normal brain exhibits. While most eat food for flavor and nourishment, textures are the only thing that registers during contests. Afterwards conversation and reflection will stem from thoughts on how chewy, crunchy, or slimy the food was. The higher the level of eater the less all of these outside or unknown factors come into play. Once everything else is tuned out and the mind is dialed into consumption mode it doesn't matter that the food was ice cold or meat needed a hack saw to cut into consumable bites. As all eaters have the same food, if it was difficult, it was difficult for everyone. It took quite some time to be comfortable and perform when dealing with the outside factors. There is no comfort when facing Joey Chestnut in battle. This was the case in Stockton a week ago. This contest has forced me to refocus my efforts in eating. I have gone into every competition with the burning desire to be victorious no matter the opponents. There have been times where victories have come as disappointment as the level of eating was not up to my standards. There have also been competitions where 3rd place finishes have brought happiness and contentment because a new level of concentration and performance had been reached. Following this contest disappointed in my performance because of a slow and clumsy start, as well as struggling to stay competitive in the 2nd half of the competition where the thoughts that saturated my cranium. This contest along with peanut butter and jelly, and waffle house waffles will continue to be a humbling discipline. The numbers will never truly reflect the difficulty and unnatural feeling it takes to process and consume these items. Out of all foods these 3 in seem like ones god never intended to be consumed in high volume or speed. The best analysis is to compare the asparagus to steel wool. Never have is it been such a struggle to clear mouthful after mouthful and to know that you are chasing a runaway horse. There was no way I was catching Joey on that day. The entire competition consisted of a panicked catch up mode. With 5 lbs downed by us both in 4 minutes it was a limp across the finish. Each mouthful required vast amounts of liquid to clear (the warm pink lemonade not helping in the least). It was strictly a jaw and throat strength showcase. Never before has a contest taxed every function that is required of a top gurgitator. It challenged capacity, jaw strength, speed, stamina, and speed of swallow. In the end, Joey showed a true champions desire and determination to power through all feelings and brain functions. A point came with 1 minute remaining where the margin was 1 spear. It became obvious that I could take this contest in front of Joey's home crowd. I saw victory and let it slip through my grasp. My brain knew the necessary means to achieve this yet a disconnect between brain and body function existed. It was a point of mental and physical failure as neither would respond in the dwindling seconds. Asparagus was forced in yet my body fought every attempt to let it pass down my esophagus. It's provides evidence that Joey is a true champion; a champion knows how to coerce every ounce of drive and performance out of their body, doesn't make excuses, and gets the job done. My goal has been to be the number one eater in the world. That obstacle rivals world record pole vaulting heights as I push myself mentally and physically to best Joey and Kobayashi. Upon reflection it seems I've been going through the motions for quite some time. It took a losing record against Joey in "08 to realize that I am not having the same amount of fun that I once did in competition. When I can look inside and realize that it's an honor to be the number 2 ranked eater and not be so focused on performance, the zone I got in, and speed, I will be far better off. Somewhere through the 100+ contests I lost sight of the fact that this sport although serious should be one of enjoyment and fun. The payoff is in the journey, friendships, and knowledge of new boundaries and limits one can push their body in search of supremacy and greatness. My next competition will be on May 10th in Minneapolis Minnesota as I attempt to qualify for Nathan's famous annual 4th of July competition. My goal is to come close to my personal best of 49 hot dogs and buns and to win. If you're in the area you can check it out; @12:30 pm Cub Foods Grocery Store 15350 Cedar Avenue South Apple Valley, MN 55124 Also, for those interested in major league eating go to http://www.majorleagueeating.com/ Chow, eat up and eat well, Patrick Deep Dish Bertoletti
As I continue to blog, it will be clear that I am little private. So, when I wrote this blog I did not post it until I convinced myself nobody would read it (and I edited it..buzzed... haha).... I was able to walk away from the asparagus contest with a victory, but I have been shaking my head and trying to figure out why things are not coming together the way they should. The contest took place at the Stockton Asparagus Festival and there were a ton of people. From the moment I arrived at the festival I felt like I was the hometown eater and a lot of people were in my corner. I was amazed at how many people told me they have been following my eating success since my first victory in Stockton three years ago. It is great to go to these events and only see happy people. It is not at all like work. The competition in this contest was serious. The contest attracted eaters from New York, Tennessee, Illinois, Washington and Oregon. The asparagus were perfect!!! They tasted much better than the ones I made. I was able to finish my first pound ahead of every one, but I got into an awful habit of watching and reacting to Pat Bertoletti. Pat was eating with a beautiful rhythm, while I was eating in response to Pat. After every pound I would be ahead of Pat by several spears, but instead of continuing to eat at a fast pace I would slow down and wait for Pat to catch up and then I would race to finish the next pound? I could not stop focusing on Pat. I really wanted to just get into my own rhythm and worry about my own pace, but I couldn't. Unfortunately these habits did not start with this contest. About a month ago I ate with the same lazy technique, in matzo ball contest. Even my training mentality for the past few months has been crappy. Instead of training to do my best, I have been training just enough to win. I don't know why my head is in the wrong place and I don't know what it will take to correct me. When I think back to last year, I cannot believe the amount of intensity and dedication I had. Other eaters have started to notice the decline in focus and they believe I am becoming complacent. I wish it were just complacency, that can be solved with a kick in the ass. In the end of this contest, I was given credit for eating 8.9 lbs of fried asparagus (I think I only ate about 8.3 lbs., and Pat was close behind). People that are new to Competitive Eating will learn that sometimes the numbers do not exactly add up, but it is rare for the actual placing to get screwed up. Pat did great and he would have edged me out, if there weren't so many people pushing me to win in this contest. I don't know if the video shows it, but I could feel myself respond to the cheers from the audience. In case you are wondering, my piss stunk of something fierce. All I can do now is look forward to my next contest and hope to break out of my funk. Good Night, Joey
I am in the midst of training for the Deep Fried Asparagus Eating Championship. The contest takes place April 26th at the Stockton Asparagus Festival. I currently hold the record for deep fried asparagus, 8.6 pounds in 10 minutes. This year, my biggest competition will come from Pat Bertoletti. Pat is a great eater and whenever I get lazy he pulls off an upset. The chances of Pat walking away with a win in this contest are slim to none. I will let you all know how the contest goes down. Joey
